Why Is It Important to Set Realistic Goals?

Let me guess. You’re here because it’s been a while since you’ve set that goal you never started working on. Or maybe you did start, but it became unrealistic when life started lifeing. So many people set goals that never come to fruition. I’m here to help answer a question that separates progress from feeling stuck: Why is it important to set realistic goals?

Why Goals Don’t Stick

Let’s start with understanding why most people don’t accomplish their goals. It’s like solving a math problem. Of course, we want to know the answer, but it’s essential to recognize the mistakes we made along the way. Here are some of the most common reasons goals don’t stick.

Your Goals are Too Vague

Many people will try to keep it simple by setting goals such as “I will work out.” While I completely understand the sentiment behind simple goals, it can actually work against you. I encourage you to take it a step further and get more descriptive. SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound) goals have been popular for a long time and with good reason. 

Let’s take the example of “I will work out” and transform it into a SMART goal. What type of workout will you do? How many times a week? Is this realistic? How will this help you achieve your overall goal? How long will you do it for? After you answer these questions, your goal may look something like this: I will do Pilates after work three times a week over the next 3 months.

It’s Not a Priority (Right Now)

We all have different priorities in life. Just because a goal sounds great doesn’t mean it’s feasible. Let me explain. Take our goal of wanting to do Pilates three times a week after work. My typical get-home routine consists of immediately changing into something comfy and finding a moment of peace. I feel drained because my sleep schedule is terrible. I know I should get ready for my class in an hour, but the idea of it sounds exhausting. I barely have the energy to figure out what to cook. How will I possibly make it to my Pilates class? I promise myself that I will do Pilates tomorrow when I’m less tired. But less tired never comes.

A lack of action doesn’t always mean we have a lack of desire or willpower. It means there might be a misalignment between real life and the goal we set.

Let’s take a step back and ask ourselves: What does my goal require from me? In the example I gave about Pilates, I realize that my biggest barrier is lack of energy. Why do I have such poor energy? Because I lay in bed at night, doom-scrolling on Instagram, while averaging 5-6 hours of sleep. Without improving my sleep routine, I won’t have the energy necessary to do Pilates. My new goal is to aim for 7 hours of sleep each night by setting an alarm that tells me to stop scrolling social media and go to sleep. I do still have a strong desire to do Pilates, but first, I need to improve my energy.

You Have an All-or-Nothing Mindset

The All-or-Nothing mindset is one of the most common reasons people do not accomplish their goals. How many times can you say that you’ve fallen into this type of thinking? I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve struggled with this mindset. With the latest diets promoting that we do things perfectly or we’re a failure, this mindset has become all too common. All-or-Nothing fails because it expects us to be perfect. But real life isn’t perfect. It’s nonlinear. Unpredictable. Real life lives in the messy middle between doing everything perfect and doing nothing at all. 

Let me reframe how you think. I want to introduce you to an original concept that I call The Capacity Scale. It’s a framework for our mental and physical ability to accomplish goals. Capacity fluctuates with different seasons of our lives – when priorities shift, energy rises or falls, stress comes and goes, time gets tight, or when our cup is too full. 

No one lives at 100%. No one lives at 0%. Most progress happens in the messy middle. We might be at a 50% day where we did a 30-minute Pilates workout at home instead of a full in-person class. Or we might be at a 10% day during holidays, where we might not do Pilates, but at least we did a 15 minute stretch. Maybe we’re having a 90% week and we did 3 Pilates classes, got 7 hours of sleep each night, and plan to meal prep this weekend. Thinking of our ability to accomplish goals on a scale allows us to experience life and still make progress.

All-or-Nothing says: If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it. The Capacity Scale says: What’s within my capacity to do today? One is rigid; one is resilient. And resilience always wins.

How to Set Realistic Goals

Now that we’ve explored why so many goals fall apart, we can finally answer the question: Why is it important to set realistic goals? Because setting realistic goals means we can make real progress. And real progress builds confidence, strengthens self-efficacy (the belief in our own ability to succeed), and shapes the identity of someone who follows through. 

So how do we take all of this and turn it into goals we can stick to?

Design Your Environment

One of the most underrated concepts in realistic goal setting is understanding how your environment shapes your habits.

 We walk into the bathroom and see our toothbrush in the holder, so we brush our teeth. We place our keys in a decorative bowl so we don’t forget them on our way out the door. We keep our coffee machine on the counter so our morning drink feels effortless. These everyday habits might seem simple, but they’re the outcome of how we’ve designed our environment. Our environment quietly cues our behavior without us even realizing it.

When we set goals, we have to do an honest evaluation of how our environment supports them. If my goal is to do Pilates after work, but when I get home I change into loungewear and sink into the couch, then my environment is working against me. If I set my Pilates clothes out in the morning on my bed, then I’m more likely to change into them. Then, instead of going straight to the couch, I spend the next hour before Pilates doing some prep work for dinner. I’ve increased my chances of going to class and reallocated my time intentionally. When I get home from my workout, I’m spending less time on dinner and still have plenty of time left to cozy up on the couch. Realistic goals rely on realistic setups of your environment.

Build an Accountability System

Do you ever wonder what sets people apart when it comes to achieving their goals? Accountability. Being consistent doesn’t rely on motivation or willpower. It relies on accountability. The easiest way to build an accountability system is to externalize your goal. When your goals live outside of your head and inside your environment, they stay visible and front of mind. Even when motivation dips, your consistency doesn’t disappear with it.

Accountability doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as checking off a habit tracker, writing your workouts for the week somewhere you’ll actually see them, or keeping your weekly meal plan on the fridge. A realistic goal paired with a realistic accountability system is what keeps progress going.

This is also where The Capacity Scale becomes especially helpful. Our capacity changes day to day and week to week. A good accountability system doesn’t expect you to show up at 100%. It helps you stay connected to your goal even when you’re at 40%, 20%, or 10%. Accountability helps you show up at whatever capacity you have that day.

Let’s think back to the one question that started this: Why is it important to set realistic goals? Because realistic goals meet you where you are, not where you think you should be. They’re specific and practical. When you design your environment and build systems for success, you become someone who truly follows through.

What is one realistic goal you want to start with? Share it below. I would love to hear what you’re working toward.

– Briauna Ramirez, RD